Five things I never thought about before becoming a mama…

Room temperatures

Before I had my daughter, I had absolutely zero knowledge (or interest) in what temperature a room should be. I’m now OBSESSED with it. As well as having a fancypants baby monitor that checks the room temperature in my daughters room, I also check the back up Groegg in there all the time, just in case the monitor one is broken!

I can’t relax if it’s over 22degrees in her bedroom and act like a mad mama trying to cool the room down. I spend a truly ridiculous amount of time worrying about it. 


Everyone LOVES Calpol, right? Well…apparently not everyone as my kid fucking hates the stuff and getting it inside her is an absolute mission (Please see picture above)

As soon as I hear her little poorly whimper I start to stress out. I hold out for as long as I possibly can, preying that it’s just tiredness or a passing phase until I know it’s the only option and then Calpol refusal starts.

Last week, for instance, Elsie’s temperature was sky high and I knew I had to get it down by getting some Calpol into her. I filled up the little purple syringe of doom expecting her to recoil in horror and try to make a run for it like she usually does, only for her to happily take it all. She then looked me dead in the eye and spat the whole mouthful slowly out of her mouth and down her top. She then gave me a wry smile and off she crawled off on her merry way. FML.


Apart from putting it on chips with vinegar I’ve never really thought about salt much. I’d seen those ‘6g a day’ public health warnings but never actually gave a nutrition a label a glance or thought much about it.

When I was pregnant I read that you have to  seriously limit babies salt intake so I started looking at labels. I seriously had no idea how much of the stuff was in EVERYTHING.

I now check the salt content of every item of food I come into contact with meticulously counting every 0.01gram. Who knew that you had to also become an amateur nutritionist when you become a mama.

Non-bio washing powder

Can I start this by saying non bio washing powder is an absolute pile of shit. It’s lacklustre to say the least but when it comes to getting the stains out of babies clothes, in particular, it is the pits. You have to boil the clothes and even then you’ll be lucky if it removes the very basic of baby food/poo stains.

Unfortunately, the bio stuff can be super irritating to little ones skin so better to be safe than sorry when they are tiny wee. Luckily Elsie hasn’t had an allergies so I decided to go back onto the hard stuff. Mmmm Lenor, how you smell so fit.


I’m not sure if this is just me getting old but since I’ve become a mama my Tupperware obsession has gone into overdrive. You know someone has really got their shit together when they are feeding their child fruit from a Sistema Squadie Quaddie. Green. With. Envy.

God, I’ve changed.

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