As my daughter turns six months old, I’ve been thinking back to before she was born and how naive we were. We have two young nieces, so you think we would have known what we were getting into but nothing can prepare you for how much a baby will change you.
I’ve previously stated that I skim read the baby books, missing out a lot of the useful details so most people probaby knew this stuff already but here are 10 things I didn’t know about being a parent and babies before I had one…
1. They can lose hair
Like, lots of hair. I thought our dog had been moulting in my daughter’s Sleepyhead until I noticed the huge bald spot that had appeared almost overnight on the back of her head and put two and two together.
2. They make you late
I remember, pre-baby, thinking how disorganised parents with young kids used to be. They never seemed to get anywhere on time. I very quickly got to see why. Getting your shit together with a baby in tow is hard. You not only have to sort yourself out, you need to think about them. You need to get yourself ready and them ready too. No matter how organised I am almost alway constantly late because leaving the house takes at least an hour. Sometimes two.
3. Their nails grow super quick
And its shit scary trying to cut them with nail clippers. They’re also very soft which makes cutting them like one of those ridiculously hard games on The Cube.
4. (Breastfed) baby poo smells weird
It’s not horrendous, just weird like sweet milk.…and it’s bright yellow. Brand newborn baby poo is even weirder- it was black/green.
5. Their sleep patterns are messed up
When they are newborn they sleep for up to 18hours a day. You panic about how much they sleep. LOL.
My daughter slept like a dream up until she was four months. We were super smug. “What a dream baby” everyone said as they sniggered behind our backs. What total arseholes. Since then her sleeping patterns have been ALL OVER THE PLACE, to say the least.
It’s called sleep regression and it usually hits at around four/five months when their sleep cycles mature.
6. Tiny newborn babies laugh
…in their sleep. It is one of the best things and also one of the most freakiest things you will ever hear.
7. They’re not bothered about expensive toys
Little babies don’t really do much anyway apart from shit and sleep. After a few months you can buy them all the expensive toys in the world but most of them would be happy playing with a packet of baby wipes. My daughter’s favourite game is to pull them out one by one, trying (and succeeding) to empty the packet before I notice.
8. They can feed non-stop for hours
…days even. Read my previous post on cluster feeding. When you look at their little rolls and ‘elastic band wrists’ you know it’s all been worth it.
9. You will probably talk about the baby’s shit A LOT
I usually greet my husband as he walks though the door after a hard day at work with ‘she’s had a poo today- hurrah’ or ‘She hasn’t pooed today- FML’ as I’ve said before when they don’t poo they are like an increasingly angry, ticking time bomb.
10. They can be born with teeth
It’s not common but some have been known to be born with a full set-yikes! We noticed just before six weeks that our daughter had two teeth coming in. You could just see a tiny bit of white cutting through but, alas, five painful teething months later they still haven’t made an appearance.
I would love to know what things other mama’s didn’t know about becoming a parent or babies that took them by surprise!