(For anyone who didn’t watch ‘Dinosaurs’ in the 90’s and get the Baby Sinclair ‘Not the Mama’ reference, please enjoy this link )
Before we had our baby, my husband and I had lots of plans and ideas about how we were going to parent. We watched and judged others around us, picking and choosing what we thought was the best way to raise our daughter.
We planned to parent 50/50 from the off but it hasn’t really happened like that. Mainly, because babies don’t tend to stick to plans. Breastfeeding on demand has meant that our daughter is almost constantly with me and the truth is that I’ve done most of the parenting so far. Not for the lack of him trying.
Whilst I get to stay at home everyday, bonding with our amazing baby, he has to go to work, coming home just as the witching hour starts. Grouchy, tired, breastfed babies don’t really want their dads.
Here are ten ways he’s dealt with this crazy, neurotic new mama and been a great ‘not the mama’ …
- He went out at 6am and bought every dummy in stock because the baby was crying all night and wouldn’t take any of the ones we had already bought. Turns out the baby was cluster feeding and she still doesn’t like dummies almost five months on.
- He didn’t let me give the dog away when I lost my shit because he accidentally jumped on the baby in front of the health visitor.
- He tells me to calm the fuck down and reassures me when I read too much shit on Netmum forums at 2am and feel like a failure as a mum.
- He agreed with me that our health visitor was batshit crazy and that we should follow our own instincts rather than take stupid advice.
- He doesn’t question me when I spent hours online wasting money we don’t have on stuff we don’t need. Like bottles. ALL the bottles. (She still won’t take a bottle BTW)
- He gets up with the baby every chance he can and lets me have a a lie in. Some times until midday. In fact, most Saturdays until Midday.
- He bathes the baby almost every night. Even when Liverpool FC are playing…he does rush through it to get her in bed before kick off though.
- He went out and bought me a second expensive breast pump in the middle of the night when the ridiculously expensive one I had already ordered online hadn’t turned up fast enough. I thought that a breast pump was the answer to all our prayers- Needless to say, it wasn’t.
- He spent weeks decorating a nursery so that it was ready for the baby being born. A nursery that five months on, the baby has slept in once.
- He lets me dress our four month old daughter in leopard print. No questions asked.