Current state: Cringing 

Things I never thought I would do before I had a baby…

I first started to think about writing a blog after binge-reading and falling in love with a couple of ‘mummy blogs’ and instagram accounts whilst I was pregnant.

One of those blogs was the ‘mother of all lists’ (bloody brilliant and well worth a read!) and although I definitely don’t plan to be a copycat/for this to be a ‘list-blog’, in homage, my first post is a list of things I never thought I would do before I had a baby:

  • Spray breast milk directly from my boob into the face of an elderly gentleman sitting on the table next to me at a coffee shop.
  • Wear gigantic granny pants. An unplanned c-section will do that to you. Probably shouldn’t still be wearing them almost four months on but, Jesus, they’re aren’t half comfy.
  • Dance the conga with a load of mums on the lawn of the local town council building in honour of the Hungry Caterpillar’s 51st birthday.
  • Stop at two glasses of prosecco on Christmas Day. To put this into context in previous years I’ve probably put away four bottles of the stuff on my own.
  • Make new ‘mummy friends’. I’m not gonna lie to you, for someone who is quite shy and despises making small talk with strangers, it’s probably been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do- Something I’ll definitely elaborate more on a later blog.
  • Breastfeed for  four months (and counting!). To be honest, I didn’t think I would take to it or find it so easy. I definitely didn’t think I would love it so much.
  • Go through a three-day labour ending in an emergency c-section and come out of it feeling like it was a positive experience and something I would do again in a heartbeat. I truly would.
  • Sing my babies name to her daily to the tune of Gary Glitter’s ‘Rock and Roll’…Elsie Booo-oo, oh Elsie Boo (Gary Glitter’s still a no-go right?)
  • Breastfeed for 15hrs straight. Clusterfeeding is an absolute bastard. No wonder noone tells you about it.
  • Celebrate my baby doing a large shit. Fuller the nappy, happier the baby.
  • Spend four days on edge because my baby hasn’t had a shit. No shits = increasingly grouchy baby. Like a ticking timebomb.
  • Worn pleather leggings to a baby class. The sounds of the pleather squeaking against the floor magnified quite how inappropriate my clothing choice was. In my defence,  I had no clean leggings and wasn’t prepared to venture outside of Lycra.
  • Do a ‘new mother & baby’ interview with a local newspaper and come across as an absolute smug bitch. The article title was ‘Baby Elsie is a dream baby’- yes, yes I know. What an arsehole. (See said offending article below)


*Cringes* so, enough about me. I would love to hear what things you thought you would never see yourself doing before you had a baby?

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4 thoughts on “Current state: Cringing 

  1. Hijabi Mommy says:

    Loved this! I also struggled with the “mom friend” aspect, but those I have made have been absolutely invaluable. As far as things I thought I’d never do – use my bare hands to clean a “dirty” nose (in a pinch) and NOT be completely grossed out when thrown up on (not that it wasn’t gross, but it happened enough that now I’m very nonchalant about it).

    Like

    • stateofmama says:

      Sorry for the late reply- I’m still trying to get the hang of WordPress! So glad to hear that I’m not alone when it comes to making ‘mummy friends’! Haha I forgot to mention how nonchalant you get about baby sick!

      Like

  2. everythingisrosy says:

    I’m totally the same with making ‘mummy friends’ or just making new friends in general. I just want it to happen and automatically forward 6 months down the line, when we’re at ease! Pleather leggings made me laugh out loud into my morning tea and have to explain myself to my 3 year old. He found it less funny. Don’t worry about him, he’s more into poo jokes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • stateofmama says:

      I’m so glad to hear that I’m not alone when it comes to making “mummy friends’-I just find it so false! Haha the I’ve had to hang up the pleather for a while ( at least on occasions when I know I’m going to be sat on a church hall floor!)

      Liked by 1 person

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